SURGERY

I have a confession to make; I have never been under the knife. I haven’t even had anesthesia before except for those fun colonoscopies. I was very, very nervous. One of my favorite channels on TV is the Discovery Health channel. I love to watch all of the various medical mysteries and hospital dramas that occur. Suddenly I refused to even look at any medical program that dealt with anything more traumatic than a hangnail. All those horror stories were no longer exciting, funny how switching seats can make things a little too real. In the meantime I had meetings with both oncologists. I found out that my cancer was both estrogen and progesterone positive which was good. Also it was Her-2 negative which was also good. I work part time at the local library so I was able to clean the bookshelf of every book written on breast cancer. I was amazed how many there were. I began to read like crazy to help me understand all of these new terms. That was very helpful! Now that my literal life could be at stake, everything I read was riveting and far from boring.

The doctors recommended that I have an MRI before the scheduled surgery to make sure there were no other lesions because of the useless mammogram. I have never had an MRI but had heard that if one is claustrophobic, it can be a bit traumatic. Luckily I’m not and it went just fine other than how noisy it was because my earplugs fell out. It sounded like loud bangs and a jackhammer - which beats having one’s boob squished any day! I got the results after another fun wait and it showed no other problems. So my advice to all of the ladies in this audience is to be very vocal if you have dense breasts. It never crossed my mind to ask for additional testing, especially in light that breast cancer is in my family.

I was operated on September 12. I was very blessed that so many family members and good friends had fasted and prayed in my behalf. I also had a priesthood blessing the night before which took all of my jitters away. I can genuinely bare testimony of the difference it made during this entire ordeal. It was great to walk in and feel completely calm and interested in all that they did in a detached sort of way. I chose to have a lumpectomy with a sentinel node biopsy. This is where the surgeon injects either a blue dye or a radioactive tracer into the area where the tumor is located. The dye or tracer will mark the first nymph node or nodes most likely to have cancer cells if they have left the breast. This procedure is relatively new and will give the patient the advantage of being sure there’s no cancer in the nodes without the complications of a full dissection. The node is then whisked away to the lab where they look for the presence of any cancer cells. In the mean time the surgeon will do the lumpectomy while waiting for the results. If the node is clean my ordeal is done and I’m sewn up. If there are cancer cells present then the surgeon will perform the routine auxiliary node dissection. This is where the first layer of lymph nodes under the arm pit is removed and sent to the lab.

The doctor told me that I would know when I woke up if my lymph nodes were clean or not. They have to stick a drain in the wound if the latter is performed. So when I came to a couple of hours later, it was the first thing I paid attention to. All I can say was I was relieved beyond words that there was no tube sticking out of my armpit! No cancer cells in the sentinel node! I was also relieved to have no nausea from the anesthesia, that problem as wreaked havoc among other family members.

TELLING FAMILY AND FRIENDS

The number one thing that stood out to me at this time was that my own attitude toward this was everything. If I came across as positive, it would help all those I told. Luckily, I really did feel that way. I felt strongly that everything would be alright. I sat down that evening with my husband and our oldest son and daughter. I told them the facts as best I knew and the two options for removing the cancer. I then explained the various treatments I might have to do depending on the pathology report and the outcome of the surgery. I am so grateful my kids were all old enough to hear all the facts. I felt giving a broad view of what I might need to do over the next six months would help them get an accurate picture as they digested this breaking news. I personally don't like half truths with surprises later. They seemed to take the news well with no drama scenes. However, when I told our other son a few days later, he was much more shocked and upset about my news. Once more I was so glad I could give so many positive spins on my situation knowing the cancer was caught early.

Then came the long list of extended family and close friends that l felt needed to hear the news from me personally. That ended up being very draining emotionally, but I felt it was the right thing to do. Still I have decided that giving bad news is ten times harder than receiving it. Once more I did everything to alleviate fears and worry before I even mentioned the awful “C” word and luckily most of the reactions were very supportive and positive. I cannot begin to express how important that is to a person in these shoes. Another valuable lesson was learned. It is vital to hear positive, hopeful, and encouraging words. I quickly realized I needed to surround myself with people who were going to empower me and help me beat it. You can bury me all you want out of earshot, but please not to my face or the friendship will have to go on hiatus!

IT'S CANCER

When I have talked with others who have dealt with cancer, they told me the worst part is the constant waiting; Waiting to get in to see a specialist, waiting for results, waiting for answers to questions, and dreading the ringing of the phone. Now I could relate. This is where I learned my next lesson. There really is value in being patient, getting mad and frustrated won't hurry the process any faster. It really is good advice to distract oneself and do everything possible to stay busy with normal day to day stuff.

When I got the news I consider myself lucky. My doctor called me on the afternoon of Wednesday, August 20th, only 2 days after the biopsy. I hadn't been stewing at all because I figured no phones calls were expected yet. I'm glad I was caught off guard. My wonderful doctor taught me the next important lesson; BE POSITIVE! This is the way she gave me the bad news; "Debbie, we got the biopsy back already and I have to admit I was surprised. It is cancer but don't panic, it is itty-bitty and we will be able to fully treat you and get you back on your feet in no time. Could you meet with me tomorrow afternoon so we can get the ball rolling? You're going to be fine!"

My first reaction was both shock and yet not that shocked. My mother had gone through breast cancer twice at the age of 55 and 59. So for me and my sisters we've always assumed there was a chance that we might find ourselves in this very situation at some point in our lives. Also I confess, my gut or the spirit kind of warned me all along that this was something to be taken seriously but to not worry. Thank goodness my mom was still alive and kicking after 20 years cancer free, I found that very encouraging.

I love the words itty-bitty, I kept repeating them over and over which helped me stay glued together mentally until the following afternoon. Once more I told no one except my husband. I figured until I had all the facts, people's imaginations would go into overdrive. I met with my doctor in her office and we talked for an hour. She told me my breast cancer was the most common type called invasive ductal carcinoma and it was 1.6 cm. We discussed the pros and cons of doing a mastectomy vs. a lumpectomy with radiation. She even had the surgery date all set up for September 12th. She gave me the names of the oncologist and the radiology oncologist she worked with as a team. Then she gave me lots of information about my cancer and the various treatment options out there for me to study. After the Q and A, she ended once more with such positive words. "We have caught this early and depending on which treatment is best, this will either be a small bump or a big bump in the road.

Wow! What can one say; suddenly my life has changed forever. I have had a number of friends with cancer including my own mom and now I'm in the same boat. As I drove back home all I could think about was how I found that lump. Personally I knew it was no accident and I found great comfort in that fact. I also thought about all those useless mammograms and how this should have been detected sooner. But the cancer was under 2 cm which seemed to be significant to my doctor. I had lots to learn, but first I had to tell my kids.

I FOUND A LUMP

It all began on July 20th when I discovered a lump in my right breast. It's one of those moments in time one will never forget. The main thing I remember was how hot it was in the house because our A/C was broken. When I saw my OB/GYN a few days later she was positive it was a cyst because my lump was soft and moveable and sent me to have a mammogram that same day.

This where I learned my first valuable lesson. The mammogram showed absolutely nothing! I had been warned through the years that I had very dense breasts, but I never worried trusting the technology and my doctors. So they had to do an ultrasound where it showed a black round shape confirming my lump was not a cyst but a tumor. That was not what I wanted to hear, but the radiologist told me that only 15% of these end up being cancer.

My doctor recommended a breast surgeon, but the soonest she could see me was August 11th. I decided not to tell anybody about this except my husband. Why add worries when there was nothing anyone could do. I felt I'd rather wait to see if it was a problem or not. I did a pretty good job of letting go for the 3 weeks knowing I had done my part.

The doctor reacted like everyone else saying it was probably benign. She told me the lumps she worried about were opposite of mine; hard and not moveable. I was beginning to breathe easier for the first time. She performed a core biopsy a week later which was very fast and not too painful. She took three samples of tissue telling me that it would take about 5 days to a week to get the results.